The Muff from NAKED

Base / Helsinki 2007

(Photo by Ville Juurikkala)

"Wait until you'll get married!
And always remember to use a condom

Suiciderock: Could you tell us something about the first time you had sex?
The Muff: It was horrific. It was a ten minute session. I was really grateful that I got some breakfast afterwards. It wasn`t what I`ve expected. It was worse, but I will never forget it. It`s burned in my mind. I was definitely too young.

Suiciderock: How old have you been?
The Muff: I think I was 14 years old.

Suiciderock: Is there anything related to sex you prefer?
The Muff: You have to come and find out. Of course, it always depends on the sex you have, but I always like to make love with a special person. I like it all.

Suiciderock: And is there anything you absolutely don’t like?
The Muff: Well, I don`t like doggy style. I prefer woman. Sorry guys, but nothing against gay people.

Suiciderock: What kind of underwear do you consider sexy when it comes to a women?
The Muff: Well, actually I`ve talked to a lot of people about this. I don`t know. I don`t consider g-strings as sexy. There is no imagination left. You just have a string. I like panties, but not the skin-coloured panties, which grandmas are wearing. I prefer regular panties. It´s all about imagination. When you pick up a girl, there has to be some kind of challenge.

Suiciderock: What kind of underwear are you wearing by yourself?
The Muff: I don`t use boxers. I need to keep it tight. I have bad knees already, so I really need to keep it up in my pants. *laughs* This kind of underwear is really hard to find in Finland nowadays. Everybody wears boxers. No g-strings I leave those for other people I guess. I`m a regular guy.

Suiciderock: Did you ever had sex with more than one women?
The Muff: Yeah, I had sex with more than one women. I guess it`s normal in Finland at certain parties. It was great. I mean of course it is unormal in a way, but it was fun.

Suiciderock: Your opinion about porn?
The Muff: In my teenager years I used to watch porn a lot. When I was 16 or 17 years I really liked to watch porn, but nowadays it´s not that important anymore. For me it`s not that interesting anymore. I prefer to do it by myself.

Suiciderock: Could you imagine to act in a porn movie?
The Muff: I`ve though about it. I could do the music for the film, but I can`t imagine to act in a porn movie in the very near future. If I would do so, I would have to dye my hair blonde and move to another country.

Suiciderock: And could you imagine to direct a porn movie?
The Muff: Definitely. I don`t know what it would be about. I would just be the director, who is screaming in the megaphone or I would be the guy who delivers the pizza to the set. That`s so much cliché. Everybody is always talking about the pizza-delivery-guy. I´ve watched a lot of porn-movies, but I´ve never seen the pizza-delivery-guy in it. Send me one by e-mail.

Suiciderock: I’m going to tell you some words and you tell me the first thing that comes in your mind. Sex toys?
The Muff: Great.
Suiciderock: Masturbation?
The Muff: Sure. It depends on what kind of person you are.
Suiciderock: Romance?
The Muff: Good. I`m a very romantic guy. I have a lot of candles in my kitchen. Romance is great, but it depends on the person. If you meet someone special you should be very romantic. Take it easy, no pressure. Be romantic!
Suiciderock: One-Night-Stand?
The Muff: Everybody is different. It depends on what kind of state you are in at the moment. Why not. It´s good for some people and it`s bad for others. Everybody should know that by himself.
Suiciderock: Prostitution?
The Muff: I don`t have any experiences with prostitution. When I run out of money, I probably go and sell my ass. No, no I`m just kidding. I don`t know should I really have some opinion about? I think you shouldn`t have to pay for sex. It´s sad.

Suiciderock: Can you separate love and sex?
The Muff: I think sex is great fun. No I can`t. I can`t see myself crying while having sex.

Suiciderock: Groupies are they pain or pleasure?
The Muff: Piep! Pieep! We are not using groupies.

Suiciderock: Your advice to somebody who had never have sex before?
The Muff: Just take it easy. Ask questions, because nobody is perfect. It´s really okay to ask questions and to get advices. Read the kamasutra and don`t forget the candles. The mood is important. Try it! Because if you fuck up the girl will still see you as a very cute guy.
Ask one more question!!!

Suiciderock: Is there anything you`ve never done related to sex, but you want to try once in your life?
The Muff: Yes, but I can`t tell you what. That´s for a lucky girl. Wait until you'll get married should be the headline! And always remember to use a condom, because you don`t wanna fucking die!

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